Just a quickie post to tell you the new project from my friends at Kink Academy is finally up and open for your perusal! Fearless Press is intended to be a work safe (ie: no naughty images) way for you to get sensible, witty, in depth articles on a variety of topics around sexuality and BDSM. With regular authors such as Megan Andelloux, Dr. Dick Wagner, AliceSin Aerie, Erin Fae, Nina Love, Savannah Sly, and even me, you’ll find it (hopefully!) as exciting, inspiring, and educational as I do.
My own column, Dear Sarah, gives readers an opportunity ask questions that they may not feel comfortable or confident asking their peers, or just something that they’ve always been curious about. Currently, my three published columns center on dominant, submissive and service topics, but the field is wide open for you to ask whatever’s on your mind…and maybe I’ll get to answer it in my next installment!
Yesterday evening I was having dinner with friends in Chicago, and the discussion turned towards their ability to have sex in a real bed (post camping trip with a slightly leaky air mattress, which is not terribly conducive to energetic romps). After I suggested that doing so would be a dandy plan for their evening, one of them said something to the effect of…
“We can have sex, if you do all the work and I just get to lay there”.
Face it. We’ve all had those days. Amazing, sexy rockstars that we are, we still get tired, and lazy, and just want someone to Get It Done. And in honor of those moments, I’d like to introduce you to two of my favorite low-energy toys: the Gia and the Stroker X.
Gia is a delightful curved g-spot toy which hits the right places perfectly and comes with 7 vibration settings, so that you can get the perfect combo of throb and pulse to tickle your (or your partner’s) fancy – and with less effort!
Stroker X is a fantastic silicone masturbation sleeve that, coupled with your favorite water-based or oil-based lubes can make even the humble handjob into a very trip to Happy Funtime Land. If one of you has a little more energy, you can put your mouth over the end of it and create suction, while adding in a little tongue action to the head…talk about blowing their mind!
Gia retails at $44. Stroker X retails at $48. But if you order through me via email before September 15, I’ll give you BOTH of them for $75, plus shipping! Just call it my official show of support for lazy sex.
What’s white and black and spiraled all over? Our silicone Spiral Shaft vibrator! This beauty is built similarly to our Slick Shaft and Ripple Shaft – it’s actually bendable and flexible in the middle, so that it follows your body’s curves perfectly (and the vibration is centered up at the tip, rather than down at the base); this makes for a sexier, more body-friendly toy. The shaft itself is high quality, non-porous silicone, which allows for easy clean up. This vibe takes 2 double A batteries, and delivers a moderately quiet, fully variable, strong thrumming vibration.
Currently, the Spiral Shaft sells for $54. However, it’s on Love U Host Special for the month of September, so if you’ve been thinking about hosting a sex toy party, book it this month and pay only $35 – or get it for free using your host credits! Aren’t in my area, and still want to do a party? Don’t worry – we have Love U Parties consultants all over the US, and I can put you into their expert hands 
Just email me, comment here, or go to my Love U website & send an inquiry!
Since I posted about her illness here a few weeks back, I wanted to put up a brief note. Last night, Tom and I made the very difficult decision to ease her into the next phase of her journey; the cancer that she was diagnosed with was running quickly and we did not want to have her suffer more severely just to keep her with us. She was held in his arms as she drifted off to sleep. Obviously, we are all heartbroken; I’m very grateful that I was able to have some great time with her the past few days and that I was able to be there for her at the end.
I keep wanting to send thank you notes to everyone who donated towards her care. We still have some pretty big bills to cover, but those of you who donated enabled us to pay off the majority of the biopsy cost and be able to make choices for her care that did not revolve around how we could afford it.
Please go spend time with your animal companions, if you have them, and remember how much of a blessing they are to us – even when they’re fussy, even when they mess up the house, they give us so much love and compassion.
And thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for your love, support, energy, and prayers. We’re still hurting deeply, and it’ll be a while before that changes, but you are all keeping us going.
Normally, I wax poetic about the toys that I put up here every week. The ins, the outs, the ins AND outs…you get the picture. But this toy? It really doesn’t need that. This is the Sapphire Swirl tempered glass dildo.
7.5″ long. 1.25″ wide (the head is a little bigger). Raised sapphire blue ribs. Fits into a harness. Durable tempered glass. Heavy. Sexy. Stunning.
And? Only $48, and it comes with it’s own padded drawstring velvet bag.
You are SO totally worth it.
Posted: August 17th, 2010
at 10:02pm by Sarah Sloane
Categories: Love U, Toys
Comments: 1 comment
My girl cat, Bit, is not doing well. Over the weekend, her tummy (which has been discolored and we were told to keep an eye on it – which we did) started bleeding in one spot, and by Monday it was not healing up – so off to the vet she went. Our vet took a closer look, and determined that she has a tumor, most likely of the mammary glands on both sides of her belly. We had blood work done to make sure that her liver and kidneys are working well enough for her to go through having a biopsy to find out whether it’s malignant or not. Blood work just came back that other than some anemia (which is sort of to be expected), she’s healthy enough to manage the biopsy. So…in about an hour, we’ll take her in for some tissue removal and in five or so days, we’ll know whether surgery is an option.
I am obviously in a really rocky place right now. Bit has been with me since just before my divorce back in ‘98; she’s been healthy as a horse her entire life, and she’s the queen of the household, ruling with a fur-covered, claw-sharpened fist. I cannot imagine my life without her; I’m also not willing to see her go through unnecessary medical intervention if there is little chance that her quality of life and life span will be improved. If it’s malignant – we will keep her comfortable and loved and (even more) spoiled until it’s time for her to move on. If it’s benign – we will talk to the vet about the prognosis of such an extensive surgery, and make our decision based on what’s best for her. We are trying to not let money be the main issue, but it looks like it’s heading that way; as of today’s procedure, we’ll have spent over $1000 (which neither myself, T., or B. have to spare), and that’s not counting medication & future care.
I hate to ask for money; in the past, I’ve done so only for my IMsL run back in 2009. After talking to a few folks yesterday, I’ve decided to ask very quietly and politely for assistance. If anyone has a few spare dollars that they’d be willing to send to offset her expenses, we would all be incredibly grateful to you for your help (there is a Paypal donate button on the right hand side of this page that you can use, or you can email me for a mailing address or other options). I wish I could tell you that your money will save her life; we just don’t know that yet. But we don’t want to give up on treating her without knowing that there aren’t any better options for her other than to keep her comfortable and loved.
More importantly – please keep her in your thoughts & prayers. If you’re not an animal lover, this may seem ridiculous; if you love or have been loved by an animal companion, though, you know that we only want the best for our girl, and we’ll do whatever we can to make sure she gets it. Her companionship and love for us have been freely given for her entire life; it’s the least we can do to make sure that whatever time she has left is full of as much joy and comfort as we can give her.
I’m in Vegas at the moment. And Vegas is all about the bling – the glitter, the shine, but not the substance. The Crystal G, on the other hand – it’s got the gorgeous, but it’s also solid pleasure!
This is one of the newest toys in Love U’s line up – so new, it’s not even in the catalog! It’s a gorgeous glass toy that’s perfectly shaped to reach your G or P spot; at 7″ long and 1.25″ diameter, it’s a great size for using on any body’s body. Remember that like all of our glass toys, this toy is made of solid tempered glass and will safely hold up to all the heavy play you can manage without breaking!
Glass toys work with any kind of lube you prefer – water based, silicone, hybrid, or cream/oil based lubes. Standard glass cleaning rules apply – clean it with any toy cleaner, soap and water, or boil it or run it through the dishwasher without detergent for a squeaky clean finish. This comes with it’s own storage pouch to prevent it from damage in your toy box. And at only $44, it’s an affordable luxury for most everyone!
Remember that you have until the 31st to make any purchase from my Love U Parties online store and be entered into a drawing to win a FREE $150 rabbit vibe, just from me. I’ll announce the winner here early next week!
Since I got one of these from the amazing Suki at OhMiBod, I’ve gotten tons of compliments on it (and have had it come in handy twice, when it was the only condom within reach – woohoo!). I also had a few folks talk about how rockin’ it is, so I wanted to put the info out on my blog for y’all to find it (or see it, if you’ve never done so).
This is the Lovebuckle. It’s a brushed metal, sexy, wide belt buckle with a cut out in the center that holds One Condoms – my personal favorite (and most highly recommended) brand. There are tons of designs, so finding one that matches your mood, your outfit, or your destination is just half the fun. The belt comes in a pretty good size range for a bunch of body types, but you can easily remove the buckle and pop it onto your favorite belt from your collection. Also, you can get the PINK belt. Not wussy pastel pink, but in-your-face, hot-to-trot pink.
I first came across these when I was doing some lectures at Brown University’s Sex Week last spring; turns out the folks at OhMiBod really understand what sex positive is about, and sent some amazing gifts to be raffled off & given away to students who attended the Sex Week events. I love to support the companies that support sex positive empowerment – so it’s my great pleasure to wear this belt and recommend OhMiBod to my friends.
And when you see me wearing it? It means I’m looking for some safe, sexy fun … I mean, how much more clear can you be about the concept of safer sex than wearing a condom on your belt?
I’m not a huge gag fan generally. They’re kinda…well, nasty. They get drool on them, and they’re hard to clean afterwards. And they’re just not sexy (red balls poking out of someone’s mouth make me think of Bozo the Clown, and I’m Just Not Wired That Way. So, having said that…this gag is pretty darn sexy – and easy to manage!
The Silicone Fantasy Gag has a nice insertable shape (yes, call it what you want…but I know what I think it looks like), a nice area for the wearer to bite down, and – SCORE – the leather strap (fully adjustable, as it fastens in the back with velcro) unsnaps from the silicone gag, which means you can clean it scrupulously (and even boil it or toss it in the dishwasher sans detergent to sanitize it). The leather part cleans up nicely with a little saddle soap or leather cleaner, if it gets messy. A HUGE plus is that silicone doesn’t irritate the skin like latex or rubber gags can, so the wearer doesn’t have to worry about any allergic reactions when using it (and really, who wants to explain to their boss why their whole mouth is swollen?).
Price? Under $50. Shipping? Discreet and quick. Freebies? You get entered into my drawing for a Rabbit Habit vibrator at the end of the month; the winner gets one of the best known, best built, and most body-friendly rabbit vibrators on the market, for free. What’s not to like?
Every sex educator I know has gotten the question “so, how did you get started doing this?” at least a hundred times. Unfortunately, our answers rarely seem to be the answers that people really want to hear. What they wish we could say is that there is a defined “career path” for sex ed folks; that we all went to college and got Bachelors degrees in Hot Sex Making, then got a Masters degree in Teaching Hot Sex Making. Alternatively, I think they’d like for all of us to have sprung, fully formed, from the heads of Kinsey, or Masters & Johnson. Unfortunately, there are very few universities that offer any degree in sex education or counseling, and often what makes us easy to relate to & learn from is the fact that we don’t use a lot of psychological or medical jargon.
So, in an effort to give readers a real feel for the kind of work that is in sex educators backgrounds, I sent an email out recently asking people what their first job was. Please…read ‘em and weep (laughing, of course)!
Audacia Ray: “I was a horse-crazy kid (and a bunch of other sex educators were/are too – that’s another story entirely!), so all I wanted to do was be near horses. I spent all of my teens working on horse farms – first mucking stalls, feeding, doing barn chores (I even learned how to drive a tractor!), then I became an exercise rider and eventually trainer and riding instructor for kids. I even spent a few summers traveling and teaching horseback riding. The year after I moved to New York, I spent the summer in Manhattan, Kansas (aka The Little Apple).”
Barbara Carrellas: While Barbara started acting at age 14, she says she wasn’t always paid – so she defaults to babysitting as the first paid job. Of course, as smart and talented as she is, she quickly graduated to stage managing…and then, took over the world.
Jacq Jones: Jacq tells me that her first job – at 3 years of age! – was as a model…and she modeled until she was 12. Her first “grown up” job was waitressing – and then she moved on to the Executive Director & Lobbyist for Common Cause in MN.
Lee Harrington: “Though I held a burger king job for about 4 months, my first “real” job at the age of 16 was as a receptionist at the Wizards of the Coast Game Center in Seattle, WA. Wizards of the Coast are best known as the makers of “Magic: the Gathering,” the collectible card game that became affectionately and hatefully referred to as “Gamer Crack.” I was lovingly bombarded with a constant stream of Conan the Barbarian soundtrack music, while I would sit in my white shirt, black vest, black trousers, boots and slicked back hair underneath a 8ft tall Minotaur head. Giant beady eyes, they stare at me. Between calls and answering sweaty gamers questions about Robotech and Vampires, I would paint Warhammer miniatures for the store.
The Game Center was open 364/5 days a year… we were open new years eve, Christmas day, it was a tad crazy. But, on special event days where I was working head reception, I would wear 6″ silver stilleto heels under the desk. I will have to say this for me and my co-workers… some of us were a kinky lot. Warhammer measuring sticks made for mean canings, and one of my back alleyway blowjob partners and I are still causing trouble in the scene together 15 years after meeting through our gamer dorkiness.”
Midori: “My first pay for work was by a Japanese literary magazine for translation of an English nursery rhyme. My mother was a contributor and, if I remember correctly, the editor must have thought it would be delightful to have the well-known scholar’s bilingual daughter do a child’s translation of a piece meant for children. I was about 7 or 8 years old. The publisher paid me the same fee as an adult contributor and gave me a copy of the magazine. I have no idea what I spent the money on, but I know I was thrilled. To this day, when the publisher’s checks arrive, I’m thrilled – although the proportional work to pay ratio has changed considerably since then.”
Princess Kali: I don’t have a print quote from her, but she did disclose to me that her first job was at a McDonalds. I’m guessing that they didn’t let her wear her tiara, those jerks.
Reid Mihalko: “…my first true, file a W9 job was working at the Brown University cafeteria -the Ratty- to help pay for books and tuition. Then I worked for the Teamsters humping freight during the graveyard shift one summer, and, eventually, I began working security and barbacking at a local Rhode Island bar where I was finally given cultural license to talk about sex with strangers.”
Richard Wagner, PhD (aka Dr. Dick): “I was a Catholic Priest. Does that count as a first job?” (He’s serious, folks!)
Shanna Katz, M.Ed.: “My first job? I had two actually. A combo of working 15-20 hours a week in a theatrical costume and make-up shop named Disguises, and teaching Hebrew at Sunday School for my temple. Odd? Yes. The Disguises job I got because I was a total theatre nerd, and love love loved anything to do with it. Being able to work with costumes, teaching people how to apply Ben Nye and Mehron, playing around with fake blood (I went home feeling like Lady MacBeth more than once), trying on outfits and wearing them to staff events? It was fabulous. Making $6/hr and occasionally working 9+ hour shifts (oh so illegal, as I was 15 at the time) wasn’t always the greatest, but being able to get a 20% discount on products I wanted was pretty awesome. I worked there for almost a year until I graduate HS at 16 and headed to college.
On the other hand, Sunday School Hebrew was a hoot. I was too agnostic to teach the religious studies part, so they stuck me teaching Hebrew to the advanced 4th graders. Now, little kids love me, but I’m not so big on children, so going here on a weekly basis to teach a langauge I couldn’t speak fluently to 8 and 9 years olds was always interesting. Good thing I’m more patient than I thought I would be…and my advanced group wound up out reading any group of 4th graders in the history of the temple, and got bumped up to the 6th grade Hebrew reading group. It was a good way for me to be involved with my Jewish heritage without actually attending temple, which I wasn’t really into at the time. Like the Disguises job, I kept it until I was 16 and headed to college.”
Sarah Sloane (me!): “My first job was at a shop called “The Fudgery”, in Richmond, VA. We made fudge on big marble top tables, and had “Showtimes”, where we sang and made bad puns and poured & turned the fudge until it was solid. I was 16, working with a bunch of art school nerds & queer folk from VCU, getting a paycheck, and learning about The Big World. It was also my first lesson in public humiliation – there’s nothing like singing, at full volume, to total strangers, songs like “It’s a grand old fudge, it’s a high-flying fudge, and we want you to try some today…it’s the emblem of the work we love, the home of the weird and the crazed”.
