Our collective list of the top songs that emphasize lack of consent

It’s been sort of a running joke with some of my sex positive friends that we should make a warning list of the top songs that are….well, instead of using really rough language, let’s just say that they’re inappropriate in their objectification of and non-consensual power over others (almost always women, but not exclusively). So, inspired by friends on my Facebook page, I decided to start a post to collect your contributions. And yes, I’ll have another post to highlight the songs that we think talk about love and sex in empowering ways, too!

Leave a comment below with the song title, and why it’s problematic; I moderate them all, but will approve ‘em (unless you’re just trolling) and add them to the body of this post from time to time, as well.

In no particular order:
Baby, It’s Cold Outside (he counters her objections to leave, and offers her more drinks)


#1 wawbat on 12.01.13 at 11:07 am

“Walking my baby back home” by Nat King Cole.
Lyrics include this gem: “She says if I try to kiss her she’ll cry, I dry her tears all through the night”

#2 wawbat on 12.01.13 at 11:10 am

“Summer Lovin” from GREASE
Girls’ Chorus: “Tell me more, tell me more, was it love at first sight?”
Boys’ Chorus: “Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?”

#3 Jodie on 12.01.13 at 4:36 pm

Not totally non-consentual sex, but alluding to ownership and abuse:

Human League: “Don’t You Want Me Baby”

In particular:

“But don’t forget, it’s me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too”

“It’s much too late to find
When you think you’ve changed your mind
You’d better change it back or we will both be sorry.”

#4 Liz on 12.02.13 at 10:50 pm

Not necessarily non-consensual sex, but the Stones “Under My Thumb” was one of the first songs I remember noticing the explicit theme of female subordination.

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