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Tuesdays Toy: Crystal G Wand

Posted by Sarah Sloane on Jul 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

I’m in Vegas at the moment. And Vegas is all about the bling – the glitter, the shine, but not the substance. The Crystal G, on the other hand – it’s got the gorgeous, but it’s also solid pleasure!

This is one of the newest toys in Love U’s line up – so new, it’s not even in the catalog! It’s a gorgeous glass toy that’s perfectly shaped to reach your G or P spot; at 7″ long and 1.25″ diameter, it’s a great size for using on any body’s body. Remember that like all of our glass toys, this toy is made of solid tempered glass and will safely hold up to all the heavy play you can manage without breaking!

Glass toys work with any kind of lube you prefer – water based, silicone, hybrid, or cream/oil based lubes. Standard glass cleaning rules apply – clean it with any toy cleaner, soap and water, or boil it or run it through the dishwasher without detergent for a squeaky clean finish. This comes with it’s own storage pouch to prevent it from damage in your toy box. And at only $44, it’s an affordable luxury for most everyone!

Remember that you have until the 31st to make any purchase from my Love U Parties online store and be entered into a drawing to win a FREE $150 rabbit vibe, just from me. I’ll announce the winner here early next week!

 
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Cinch’ing it up, sexy.

Posted by Sarah Sloane on Jul 23, 2010 in Leather, Toys, Uncategorized

Since I got one of these from the amazing Suki at OhMiBod, I’ve gotten tons of compliments on it (and have had it come in handy twice, when it was the only condom within reach – woohoo!). I also had a few folks talk about how rockin’ it is, so I wanted to put the info out on my blog for y’all to find it (or see it, if you’ve never done so).

This is the Lovebuckle. It’s a brushed metal, sexy, wide belt buckle with a cut out in the center that holds One Condoms – my personal favorite (and most highly recommended) brand. There are tons of designs, so finding one that matches your mood, your outfit, or your destination is just half the fun. The belt comes in a pretty good size range for a bunch of body types, but you can easily remove the buckle and pop it onto your favorite belt from your collection. Also, you can get the PINK belt. Not wussy pastel pink, but in-your-face, hot-to-trot pink.

I first came across these when I was doing some lectures at Brown University’s Sex Week last spring; turns out the folks at OhMiBod really understand what sex positive is about, and sent some amazing gifts to be raffled off & given away to students who attended the Sex Week events. I love to support the companies that support sex positive empowerment – so it’s my great pleasure to wear this belt and recommend OhMiBod to my friends.

And when you see me wearing it? It means I’m looking for some safe, sexy fun … I mean, how much more clear can you be about the concept of safer sex than wearing a condom on your belt?

 
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Tuesdays Toy: Silicone Fantasy Gag

Posted by Sarah Sloane on Jul 20, 2010 in Reviews, Toys

I’m not a huge gag fan generally. They’re kinda…well, nasty. They get drool on them, and they’re hard to clean afterwards. And they’re just not sexy (red balls poking out of someone’s mouth make me think of Bozo the Clown, and I’m Just Not Wired That Way. So, having said that…this gag is pretty darn sexy – and easy to manage!

The Silicone Fantasy Gag has a nice insertable shape (yes, call it what you want…but I know what I think it looks like), a nice area for the wearer to bite down, and – SCORE – the leather strap (fully adjustable, as it fastens in the back with velcro) unsnaps from the silicone gag, which means you can clean it scrupulously (and even boil it or toss it in the dishwasher sans detergent to sanitize it). The leather part cleans up nicely with a little saddle soap or leather cleaner, if it gets messy. A HUGE plus is that silicone doesn’t irritate the skin like latex or rubber gags can, so the wearer doesn’t have to worry about any allergic reactions when using it (and really, who wants to explain to their boss why their whole mouth is swollen?).

Price? Under $50. Shipping? Discreet and quick. Freebies? You get entered into my drawing for a Rabbit Habit vibrator at the end of the month; the winner gets one of the best known, best built, and most body-friendly rabbit vibrators on the market, for free. What’s not to like?

 
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What We Did On Our Summer Vacation: First Jobs of Notorious Sex Educators

Posted by Sarah Sloane on Jul 19, 2010 in teaching

Every sex educator I know has gotten the question “so, how did you get started doing this?” at least a hundred times. Unfortunately, our answers rarely seem to be the answers that people really want to hear. What they wish we could say is that there is a defined “career path” for sex ed folks; that we all went to college and got Bachelors degrees in Hot Sex Making, then got a Masters degree in Teaching Hot Sex Making. Alternatively, I think they’d like for all of us to have sprung, fully formed, from the heads of Kinsey, or Masters & Johnson. Unfortunately, there are very few universities that offer any degree in sex education or counseling, and often what makes us easy to relate to & learn from is the fact that we don’t use a lot of psychological or medical jargon.

So, in an effort to give readers a real feel for the kind of work that is in sex educators backgrounds, I sent an email out recently asking people what their first job was. Please…read ’em and weep (laughing, of course)!

Audacia Ray: “I was a horse-crazy kid (and a bunch of other sex educators were/are too – that’s another story entirely!), so all I wanted to do was be near horses. I spent all of my teens working on horse farms – first mucking stalls, feeding, doing barn chores (I even learned how to drive a tractor!), then I became an exercise rider and eventually trainer and riding instructor for kids. I even spent a few summers traveling and teaching horseback riding. The year after I moved to New York, I spent the summer in Manhattan, Kansas (aka The Little Apple).”

Barbara Carrellas: While Barbara started acting at age 14, she says she wasn’t always paid – so she defaults to babysitting as the first paid job. Of course, as smart and talented as she is, she quickly graduated to stage managing…and then, took over the world.

Jacq Jones: Jacq tells me that her first job – at 3 years of age! – was as a model…and she modeled until she was 12. Her first “grown up” job was waitressing – and then she moved on to the Executive Director & Lobbyist for Common Cause in MN.

Lee Harrington: “Though I held a burger king job for about 4 months, my first “real” job at the age of 16 was as a receptionist at the Wizards of the Coast Game Center in Seattle, WA.  Wizards of the Coast are best known as the makers of “Magic: the Gathering,” the collectible card game that became affectionately and hatefully referred to as “Gamer Crack.” I was lovingly bombarded with a constant stream of Conan the Barbarian soundtrack music, while I would sit in my white shirt, black vest, black trousers, boots and slicked back hair underneath a 8ft tall Minotaur head. Giant beady eyes, they stare at me.  Between calls and answering sweaty gamers questions about Robotech and Vampires, I would paint Warhammer miniatures for the store.

The Game Center was open 364/5 days a year… we were open new years eve, Christmas day, it was a tad crazy.  But, on special event days where I was working head reception, I would wear 6″ silver stilleto heels under the desk.  I will have to say this for me and my co-workers… some of us were a kinky lot.  Warhammer measuring sticks made for mean canings, and one of my back alleyway blowjob partners and I are still causing trouble in the scene together 15 years after meeting through our gamer dorkiness.”

Midori: “My first pay for work was by a Japanese literary magazine for translation of an English nursery rhyme. My mother was a contributor and, if I remember correctly, the editor must have thought it would be delightful to have the well-known scholar’s bilingual daughter do a child’s translation of a piece meant for children. I was about 7 or 8 years old. The publisher paid me the same fee as an adult contributor and gave me a copy of the magazine. I have no idea what I spent the money on, but I know I was thrilled. To this day, when the publisher’s checks arrive, I’m thrilled – although the proportional work to pay ratio has changed considerably since then.”

Princess Kali: I don’t have a print quote from her, but she did disclose to me that her first job was at a McDonalds. I’m guessing that they didn’t let her wear her tiara, those jerks.

Reid Mihalko: “…my first true, file a W9 job was working at the Brown University cafeteria -the Ratty- to help pay for books and tuition. Then I worked for the Teamsters humping freight during the graveyard shift one summer, and, eventually, I began working security and barbacking at a local Rhode Island bar where I was finally given cultural license to talk about sex with strangers.”

Richard Wagner, PhD (aka Dr. Dick): “I was a Catholic Priest. Does that count as a first job?” (He’s serious, folks!)

Shanna Katz, M.Ed.: “My first job?  I had two actually. A combo of working 15-20 hours a week in a theatrical costume and make-up shop named Disguises, and teaching Hebrew at Sunday School for my temple. Odd? Yes. The Disguises job I got because I was a total theatre nerd, and love love loved anything to do with it. Being able to work with costumes, teaching people how to apply Ben Nye and Mehron, playing around with fake blood (I went home feeling like Lady MacBeth more than once), trying on outfits and wearing them to staff events? It was fabulous. Making $6/hr and occasionally working 9+ hour shifts (oh so illegal, as I was 15 at the time) wasn’t always the greatest, but being able to get a 20% discount on products I wanted was pretty awesome.  I worked there for almost a year until I graduate HS at 16 and headed to college.

On the other hand, Sunday School Hebrew was a hoot.  I was too agnostic to teach the religious studies part, so they stuck me teaching Hebrew to the advanced 4th graders. Now, little kids love me, but I’m not so big on children, so going here on a weekly basis to teach a langauge I couldn’t speak fluently to 8 and 9 years olds was always interesting.  Good thing I’m more patient than I thought I would be…and my advanced group wound up out reading any group of 4th graders in the history of the temple, and got bumped up to the 6th grade Hebrew reading group.  It was a good way for me to be involved with my Jewish heritage without actually attending temple, which I wasn’t really into at the time. Like the Disguises job, I kept it until I was 16 and headed to college.”

Sarah Sloane (me!): “My first job was at a shop called “The Fudgery”, in Richmond, VA. We made fudge on big marble top tables, and had “Showtimes”, where we sang and made bad puns and poured & turned the fudge until it was solid. I was 16, working with a bunch of art school nerds & queer folk from VCU, getting a paycheck, and learning about The Big World. It was also my first lesson in public humiliation – there’s nothing like singing, at full volume, to total strangers, songs like “It’s a grand old fudge, it’s a high-flying fudge, and we want you to try some today…it’s the emblem of the work we love, the home of the weird and the crazed”.

 
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Sexerati Bed Death

Posted by Sarah Sloane on Jul 16, 2010 in communication, introspection, relationships, teaching

Sometimes, it gets a little old to me. I feel like I talk about so much about sex, but have so little of it, that I’m a fraud – an educator who is all talk, no action; who can’t do, so she teaches. The sad thing is that many of my friends who are long-term sex educators, sex workers, and performers all commiserate about it.

“How many of you are convinced that your customers have more sex than you do?”, I asked at a recent event held at a very sex-positive shop. Every one of the half-dozen staff present raised their hands.

“How often do you have kinky sex?”, I’ve asked my perverati friends. Some of them are getting it on, all the time; others confess (yes! confess!) in quiet voices that they have “vanilla” sex almost exclusively.

So, when I went through two years of libido coma, it didn’t occur to me that something was wrong. Really. I was teaching over 100 classes a year (which, while it looks great on the resume, is pretty craptastic on the free-time front). Of *course* I was too tired to be creatively kinky, especially from the top side of things. I was traveling too much to maintain much in the way of relationships.

And after sharing – nay, preaching – about the importance of personal boundaries when it comes to sex work of all kinds…imagine my shame and shock when I realized that I’d been screwing myself over for two. bloody. years. I let things that hurt push me back into the cavern of my sexual isolation – the loss of relationships and lovers, the stress of travel, the fear of being vulnerable, the ease with which I avoided possible entanglements involving lube or toys. And what I ended up with was feeling distanced not only from my lovers and from people who I really do like and really do want to play with…but also, feeling distanced from myself.

I started talking about kink & sex because it was such a valuable part of my life; a part that I’d shredded, examined, processed, raged at, ragged about, celebrated, denied, and reinserted into my psyche in my late 20’s. Empowering my own ability to be a sexual being, guiltlessly kinky and joyfully queer, turned out to be one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. My self esteem took a ride up to the Mile-High Club when I realized that I could actually be externally who I was internally without being afraid of it. So, when this all took a back seat…I started feeling like a bit of an automaton. Like someone who talked the talk, but didn’t walk the walk. And that meant…time for a serious talking to with myself, and some reprioritization.

But like many minor miracles…the one step of saying “that’s it – I’m done with this bullshit” started making the changes happen. Within weeks, I found out my libido had shaken off the scent of the mothballs that it had been packed in, and was off on its own making sexy play plans with folks. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had to push it a little. I made a decision to engage in some sort of play with someone at every event that I’ve been to this year, and so far, I’ve been quite (suprisingly, to me) successful at it. And the play has been good – really good. I feel released; I feel more in touch with my whole body and my libido than I have in a very long time.

Lesson acknowledged, Universe. Don’t become so focused on what I am that I forget about who I am. Gotcha.

 
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Tuesdays Toy AND July Prize: The Rabbit Habit

Posted by Sarah Sloane on Jul 5, 2010 in Uncategorized

Yes, this is the ubiquitous Rabbit vibe – it’s cute, it’s friendly, and it gets some folks off like a rocket. Even the Sex In The City ladies love it. The shaft twists to give you the ride of your life. The pearls at the base twirl and spin to stroke the g-spot area. And the bunny? Well, bunny’s ears wiggle and dance to stimulate the clitoral area and the labia, making you want to keep this rabbit in the hat where it can do some good! O Magazine called this the Rolls Royce of vibrators…and some Rabbit Habit owners would sooner give up chocolate than their bunny!

Love U Parties carries the updated Rabbit vibe…this one is made of body-friendly TPE, and the beads are made to move freely without jamming up. We suggest water based lube with it, and it cleans up easily with soap and water or toy cleaner (though please, don’t immerse it – you’ll kill the buzzy bits!).

Want it? Want it for FREE? Make any purchase between now and July 31 from me, either in person, via email, or at my website, and I’ll enter you in a drawing for your very own Rabbit Habit! I’ll pull one name from all purchasers on August 1, and will ship the toy right out to the winner. Please note that the purchase has to be made in one of those three ways, otherwise I won’t have the info and can’t enter you in the drawing. Also, to answer the inevitable question – yes, I do mean ANY purchase, of any size, qualifies! And yes, you do get entered each time you make a purchase, so if you make two separate purchases this month, you’ll be entered twice.

Any other questions? Just ask! In the meantime – go visit my shop & see what’s new!

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