Money, ethics, and real sex-positivity
As many of you know, I have written a number of articles for SexIs magazine, and worked as an independent contractor for them for a number of months, helping to try to create a more sex- & kink-positive forum. I never spoke publicly about being let go from my “regular work” for them, and the reasons I was given, and I won’t do it now. I continued to write for them because I believed that my editor was a smart guy who really did want to see SexIs become a forum for smart writing from all over the sexual spectrum. However, now that he is no longer employed by SexIs, I see no reason to continue to work with them.
There are more than just a handful of people that have been involved with Eden Fantasys that have been denied final payments, called “rude”, ineffective, and otherwise had their professionalism criticized by representatives of the company. There are others that became tired of trying to talk honestly about non-traditional heterosexual relationships. Still more are disgusted by a company that preaches healthy & safe sex while still selling proven unsafe sex toys & items (phthalates, anyone?). Some of these people are friends of mine (Shanna Katz, M.Ed., for one), some are brilliant colleagues in the sex positive & sex education sectors, and still others are out there doing their work behind the scenes of blogs, magazines, podcasts, and other on- and off-line sources.
After working with companies that truly do have the health, safety, and sex-positivity of their customers in mind (Smitten Kitten, Good Vibrations, Puckerup.com, and Love U Parties, to name a few), I’ve decided that it is not in the best interests of the sex-positive movement for me to support any businesses of any kind that do not offer that same support to their customers & community.Even though they do some good things (sponsoring various events & raising funds for the AIDS Service Center of NYC), I no longer feel that their public philanthropy makes up for their private negativity.
Effective today, I am removing all links to Eden Fantasys from my site. I ask that you each consider who you’re supporting, and whether they have not just the products but the business practices and ethics that you want your money to go towards perpetuating. If you are an affiliate, there are many other companies out there that offer affiliate programs that pay just as well – Fascinations and Good Vibrations, to name two – and I know they’d be thrilled to have you join their programs. If you are a sex toy reviewer and don’t know how to find review spots outside of a single company, send samples of your reviews to companies that you’d like to be affiliated with, and ask them if you can participate in their review process. If you are a community member, there are numerous other sex-positive online communities that you can enjoy being a member of.
And most importantly – if you are a customer, please look towards some of the hundreds of other online or locally based shops that offer the quality of sex toys that you deserve, with the respect you’re entitled to receive. My hope in doing this is to create lasting change; if we, as individuals & as a community, can step forward & stop supporting companies that don’t have our best interests at heart, then we open the door for companies that will give back to our community and support our rights to have a healthy, happy, fulfilling sex life – throughout our lives.