I get asked a lot of questions. I get asked a lot of similar questions. So why not answer them here? Then I can just point and say “Go Look!”.
1. My mother knows I’m dating multiple guys. She doesn’t know that I date people that are not guys, or people that are not guys by her own 1950’s biological definition. She doesn’t need to know that, but if she finds out, I’m okay with it. I figure she’s lived long enough to not have to deal with information that she may not really want (and my mother is the queen of denial – come on, after 5 months of living with my future ex-husband, she toured our tiny apartment with it’s one bedroom, and then asked me “well, where do YOU sleep?”)
2. No, I don’t make a living from speaking at BDSM events. I don’t make a living from any of my speaking engagements; in fact, after it all added up, last year I spent thousands on traveling to events, covering my expenses over the weekend, and doing crazy wild stuff like grabbing a $4 coffee from the hotel because I was groggy. There’s one major reason why this year I’m saying no more often. I really hate to do it, but there ya go.
3. Yes, you can ask my partners to play. No, I don’t mind (unless you have teh crazy in which case I’ll have a side talk with my sweeties, then deal with it, because it’s really their decision and not mine). They are fully aware of the information that I want, and I trust them to abide within whatever agreement they and I have set up.
4. Of course you can become a successful presenter! The real stuff that it takes? The guts to put yourself out there constantly and take risks (see: Lee Harrington), wacky charisma that leaves attendees at your classes wanting more (see: Graydancer), amazing teaching ability (see: Lochai), a willingness to talk honestly & compassionately about the really tough subjects (see: Mollena Williams), and the ability to gracefully recover from looking like a horse’s ass (see: me). Also, the ability to negotiate and beg for money, OR a lot of money so you can actually go everywhere that asks you.
5. Yes, I’m in alcoholism recovery. Yes, you can drink around me without me feeling uncomfortable. Yes, I will kick your ass out in a New York Minute if you’re drunk or obnoxious. Yes, I’d REALLY prefer that you ask me before lighting up some weed. And yes, I’d be happy to join you for a cigar.
6. Barriers for everything. Yes, really. No, not even if you’re tested and clean. Kthxbye.
7. My cats are like my kids. Really. I don’t care how pathetic it sounds. Call them anything derogatory or treat them callously, you’ll never come back to my house again.
8. I hate talking on the phone, for the most part, unless there is a serious reason for doing so. I don’t know why – I used to chatter for hours with friends on the Bell system. Now, it’s texting or quick calls, unless I’m out of town and just miss the hell out of you (in which case, you’ll know).
9. Yes, I am unashamed about my FarmVille habit. Please send free gifts.
10. Die hard liberal with a dollop of fiscal conservatism and an occasional streak of anarchy. Yes, I voted for Obama. No, I never voted for Ross Perot.
11. Please, yes, leave me with the illusion that I sing well. I still harbor a secret desire to win a Grammy or a Tony for my vocal stylings.
12. Speaking of which, Bette Midler and Madeline Kahn are my primary role models. Others of the “star” variety are Gilda Radner, Queen Elizabeth I, a few Catholic saints, Mother Teresa, and Sting.
13. “Coaching” is not my secret code for pro-domination. I’m a coach, business and personal (which does include BDSM but is not all that I do). I’m not a prodomme; I’d be happy to refer you to some great ones, though!
14. I limp because I was born with a disorder called Congenital Pseudoarthrosis in my left leg. I had a lot of surgeries in my teens, and was in a cast for years. Trust me, I barely notice the limping and often don’t even notice that I’m in pain for it.
15. …what questions did I miss that you wanted the answer to?