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10 Things To Remember About Real Life Sex & Kink

Posted by Sarah Sloane on Jun 8, 2009 in Uncategorized

1. Jealousy & envy in open relationships – it’s a lot easier to manage worrying about what your other partner(s) are doing if you’re getting a little sum’in sum’in elsewhere, too.

2. Negotiation – if you can’t go back to a cash register to have an overcharged item corrected & get the refund, you shouldn’t be negotiating play or sex, either.

3. Partners – the harder you look for a partner who is nothing like the last one, the more guaranteed you are to find your ex’s doppleganger.

4. Distance – making a hard rule against long distance relationships means that you meet really amazing people that you’d love to see more frequently – and they all live at least 300 miles away.

5. Toy Bags – the umbrella rule applies – if you take it, you’ll either not need it at all or you’ll only use one or two things out of it; if you leave it at home, you’ll get a fantastic, one time only offer that will require every toy you own.

6. Reputation – you can be a stellar presenter, staffer, event attendee, or dungeon monitor, and people will know you by name. You do something embarassing, and you’ll be forever known as “that dude that got drunk and puked on Domina Whoziwhatsis”.

7. The Law of Attraction – The more you have, the more you get offered. This is because when you’re busy and excited and happy with yourself, you put out an energy that says “come closer!”. Conversely, the more you walk around wanting, the less you’ll find.

8. Assumptions – the hot person you’re looking at, that is wearing a collar? Chances are they can beat you up quite nicely¬† if they’re so motivated. And the vaguely prudish person? They’re probably a hellion in bed. And the person you can’t get up the nerve to talk to? They might actually be feeling a little lonely, and would appreciate it.

9. Flexibility – it’s never a bad idea to extend your skills and interests if you want to meet awesome people; the more different things you can talk about (or do), the more likely you are to find someone that you’d like to spend time with.

10. Real life – everyone has one, even the pierced, tattooed person in the corner at the party wearing a dog collar and drinking soda out of a gerbil bottle. Never forget that no human being is one dimensional, regardless of how they present themselves.

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